


Addiction

by EliotByNight



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Introspection, M/M, almost no dialogues, i can't tell if it's non-con but who knows, many thoughts, slight kagehina in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 11:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9605909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliotByNight/pseuds/EliotByNight
Summary: His hands tremble; his feet trample. His heartbeat increases and his head explodes.Mind, soul and heart tell him different things, but his body acts alone; nothing and no one can stop it.And Kageyama is suffering.He is suffering, because he doesn’t know.He doesn’t know how, he doesn’t know why.He just knows that Oikawa is keeping him in control.His only certainty is the impossibility to break free from his addiction.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Addiction](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/262574) by EliotByNight. 



> This is a translation from Italian (my mother tongue) into English. If there are some grammatical mistakes, even if they’re tiny mistakes, please tell me so that I can improve!

_A wall looms in front of me._  
_No, it’s not made of concrete, it’s not the net that my teammates always try to overtake during a match._  
_It’s a different, insubstantial wall, but inconvenient and impregnable as few._  
_I see this wall rising every day, every time I lift my eyes and turn them away from myself._  
_A barrier that always isolates me from the world, a cage which traps my feelings and hides them._  
_It burns and consumes my soul. It deprives me of the joy of appreciating the little things in life._  
_It makes me vulnerable, so much to highlight and jealously hide my weakness at the same time._  
_It’s a double edged sword, a mirror that reflects from outside and from within._  
**_Pride._**  
_Every day I wonder what there is over the wall, but I’m also afraid of knowing it._  
_I’m afraid of trusting people, I’m afraid of smiling, I’m afraid of letting myself go._  
_I want to do it, but I’m scared._  
_How can you fear something you desire?_  
_Yeah, that’s the same question I ask to myself, every time I think of him._  
_That senpai who makes me crazy even after junior high and will always keep doing it._  
_The best setter, the worst mate._  
_With that smile that seduces people, but those eyes that trample on the world._  
_Tooru Oikawa; it’s him._

 

 

A sudden pain on his head brought him back to reality. The bus had braked suddenly, with disappointment of Kageyama, who rubbed the spot where his skull had collided with the window.  
He was dreaming of him again. He had him always close to him, in a way. He had taken his brain’s control a long time before.

He got off the bus and walked silently, without even really thinking about where to put his feet. He felt attracted by a strange, intense, but not at all mysterious force. His legs weighed down step by step and crawled on the sidewalk, as sucked into a vortex of oblivion that dragged Kageyama down deeper into the darkness of the night.  
Like a magnet, he came home and went in without a sound, he didn’t even turn the lights on.  
After all, every night was the same story.

He dropped the sport bag and the jacket in a corner, then slowly reached the room. The handle went down under his hand too easily and the door seemed to open almost by itself. The only light that allowed Kageyama to see where to put his feet came from the street lamps.  
He walked over to the window and leaned his forehead. His cold, sharp and concentrated eyes stared absently at the lights outside. He sighed and frowned, allowing the silence of the house to stun him.  
During his wait, the usual spiral of thoughts wrapped him.

He was trembling, but it wasn’t cold. He was just excited. He wasn’t used to it and would have never been used to it.  
He was ashamed; not able to solve his problem on his own. Perhaps it was his mind to think it was a problem, but his muscles, his bones, his body trembled with desire, with the will to endure that problem.  
A vague sound of footsteps and Kageyama shivered. He closed his eyes and separated the forehead from the window, as in trance.  
His ears sensitized to the surroundings. Slow steps, getting closer and closer, until they got behind him. And then, silence.

"Welcome back, Tobio-chan."

That voice, god, that voice. A fluid that entered his ears and settled in every inch of his skin. Kageyama bit his lower lip and was surprised by the strange tic that had started to move his fingertips jerkily.

He found himself once again at a crossroad. The two roads to take were so different, that even if time had passed and that choice appeared in front of him every day, Kageyama could never decide.  
On one side, there was the light of the day, fresh and beneficent, which led him on a small path and took him out of the wall step by step, where he wouldn’t have been alone for long, because he would have learned to open his heart to others and wouldn’t have been afraid to accept some kinds of feelings anymore.  
But on the other side… there was Oikawa.

With that grin always printed on his delicate face, like a fallen angel, with those moves and those burning words, which destroyed Kageyama’s wall of pride with extreme elegance, quietly, in the dark of every night.  
Kageyama wanted to get out from the wall, he wanted to leave the pride behind, but never knew how to do it and then it was Oikawa who chose for him.

A rustle on his hips made him wince. The expert fingers of his former teammate hadn’t lost time and were crawling under his shirt. At the same time, as a familiar feeling but not too much familiar, Oikawa tickled his neck with little light kisses.  
It could have been a sweet cuddle for anyone else, but Kageyama clenched his teeth and his back stiffened even more. All those touches, those little smacks created by Oikawa’s lips upon himself were like lies, hypocrisy, possession and power. Kageyama didn’t feel loved, but dominated, and in turn he wasn’t in love, but harbored an unbearable hatred.

But to his body, to his fingers that were trembling visibly, to his stomach that was coiling violently and to his muscles that seemed to explode at the touch of the other setter, none of this mattered. All that confusion was nothing compared to the unsettling pleasure that Oikawa emanated.

His voice disappeared even from his thoughts, a thousand sentences that he wanted to shout, just to make him go away. The silence was broken only by the sound of the gentle touches of Oikawa, who walked every cell of Tobio-chan’s skin with his fingers, his lips, his eyes, his breath. The t-shirt was already on the floor and was soon followed by anything that could prevent a direct contact between those two bodies plunged in the dark.

The wall was gone. Nothing could prevent Oikawa from entering his soul, stripping it from every protection and celebrating it in all of its weakness, touching it, holding it and enjoying it until the last drop of sweat, until the last effort.

Not much time passed, before Oikawa took possession of his mouth. A deep, warm and languid kiss, that shocked every vital function of the other. It was the perfect kiss, dammit, it was impossible to resist. Kageyama didn’t find the strength to resist, to defend himself, to stop that awful ecstasy. Only that sensual, exciting physical contact ruled.

Gradually, while Oikawa enjoyed to taste his body slowly, Kageyama stopped shaking. His face relaxed and his eyelids closed, as if he was falling asleep. Once again, the pleasure won and he had surrendered to the whirlwind of chills and shivers that sent him into raptures.

Just a glistening tear crossed his cheek, reminding him that his resignation would have been horribly painful.

If his body had found freedom from his wall of pride, his soul had been chained in an even more tragic prison than the last one.  
And Kageyama suffered, because he didn’t know how to get out of it.  
He prayed that someone opened the door suddenly and saved him from Oikawa’s hands crawling in the most intimate corner of his heart, as well as his body. He knew that would never happen, but there was still a little hope in himself.

Oikawa now possessed him and Kageyama could just be invaded completely, because the animal instinct as a human being prevailed and would have always prevailed. However, there was still a hope, which prevented him from being completely subjugated.

So, in that night of hell, Kageyama shouted help with the dim light of thought he had left, through which he could only see some bright eyes and a small red haired head, before plunging back into the total darkness of that terrible addiction.

**Author's Note:**

> You know, I actually ship KageHina with all my heart and I’ll ship it for the rest of my little life. But when I decided to write a fanfic for a challenge and I received my prompt, my first thought went to OiKage, which was my biggest NOTP at the time. At first I was like OH GOD WHY, because I was shocked. I had also finished reading all the KageHina fanfics in my favourite Italian fanfiction’s website and I was surrounded by OiKage fanfics. I was desperate.  
> But then I thought: “If I manage to write something good about my notp, I’ll be a very talented fanwriter!”. Then there was my love for a complicated character like Kageyama and it would have been easy for me to write something like this about him.  
> After all these mental acrobatics, this fanfiction was born and I don't regret it at all. I hope you like it, because it's my very first good work, even if there are elements like angst, yaoi, a pairing I don't ship, much “sexual tension” - and you know, all this is completely out of my standards. xD


End file.
